There goes the neighborhood

There goes the neighborhood
 
Date October 28, 2005
Section(s) Opinion
Brief  
 
To the Editor:

Casualties in Iraq reach the 2,000 mark. Hurricanes Katrina and Rita force hundreds of thousands of people out of their homes and out of work. Paul McCartney comes to Des Moines. But what is the banner headline? “Ralph Hake puts house up for sale”

Shoppers for Ralph’s house could get a real deal with former Maytag President Bill Beer’s house that is up for sale at about a third of the price of Ralph’s.

Yes sir, this could really be something big. I even heard that just to catch the wave of enthusiasm, senior director of operations of Newton Laundry Products Mark Parriott is considering a garage sale. He’s trying to catch the crowds, so watch for the little sale signs on the parking.

With all the hype about Ralph wanting to leave town, which comes as no surprise, one can only anticipate the next banner headline. “Ralph Hake: Homeless in Iowa”

By the way, I have a little three bedroom Quonset hut in the vicinity of the fire and rescue squads that I’ll let go for just $100,000. Stop by, I’m in the book.

S.C. “Newt” Rodgers

Newton

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